Top 10 Reasons Kings are Injury Prone

1. To save money Kings replaced team doctor with TV's Dr. Doogie Hauser
2. Too many lucrative contracts required team docs to use scotch tape for ankles
3. Olden Polynece finally got Kings voodoo dolls to work!
4. Guaranteed contracts!
5. Would you want to go on road trip to Milwaukee?
6. Injured players get free hot dogs on bench.
7. Don't have to shower after games so can make it home to see who got booted off American Idol live!
8. Not big fans of the powder-blue throwbacks, time IR visits with "old skool" games
9. Arco fired floor clean up staff to save $$, games after circus = big problems
10. Faked injury after noticing flab under arms in team picture, will feel better after dropping a few lbs.

---

Top 10 things to worry about heading into the final 6 weeks of the season

1. That Bo Bice won’t make it to the final 2…sorry, that’s the American Idol season
2. That Bibby’s Deal with the Devil only included 2 game winning shots during the 04-05 season
3. That further injuries will require us to finally activate Brent Price (is he still on the team?)
4. Armageddon, then we’ll never get our chance for a championship!
5. Intercepted Kings inter-office memo said, “if another key player goes down let’s bring back the male dancers to bolster fan support.”
6. The Lakers might not make the playoffs! (Sorry, that one just makes us laugh when we say it in our “serious voice”)
7. A couple of more injuries and Coach Adleman may be forced to show emotion in an interview!
8. Losing streaks = Irate Callers to Local Sports Radio Shows = Angry Grant Napear = Forced to listen to political talk shows
9. Geoff Petrie might sprain his brain, or worse yet, break his cerebellum and be out for the summer trade season
10. That the Kings front office might bring back Rupe the Hoop for your <cough> enjoyment in Brad Miller's absence

---

Top 10 Kings New Year's resolutions.

1. Stop blaming losses on the wind blowing the ball around
2. Remove the "___ days since last injury" sign from the locker room bulletin board
3. Cancel Der Wienerschnitzel "All you can eat chili-dawg" buffet during half time
4. Stop giving awards for player who misses most shots in a game
5. Provide Kingssuperfans.com with a luxury box and a bathtub full of nacho cheese
6. Start playing with their right hands!
7. cancel pre-game motivational speeches by opposing team's coach
8. Implement the Globetrotters "Weave" offense...hey, they rarely lose to the Generals!
9. No more Bette Midler during warm ups.
10. Bring home an NBA Championship

---

Top 10 reasons to stay positive about the Kings 04-05 season.
(Caution: Sarcasm)

1. Everyone is healthy!
2. There's absolutely no locker room problems!
3. Peja is here to stay!
4. The trip to China, it's like driving to South Sac and back, no biggie.
5. Ostertag, Vlade Divac, they're essentially interchangable!
6. Chris Webber hasn't said anything stupid for about 36 hours.
7. Hey, it's now called Bobby Jackson's Basketball Town!
8. John Wetzel... OMG, where's John Wetzel!?
9. Hey, at least the Kings salary cap issues are looking better!
10. There's still 82 games left and the Kings are tied for 1st!

---

Top 10 reason the Kings beat the Mavs in Round 1

1. The old lesson that good always triumphs over...well, over pretty good, not really all that bad...
2. Nobody wants to lose to a team with a convenience store as a mascot.
3. There's a joke in here somewhere about Nash's hair...well, insert your own.
4. The skit, you can always blame the poor taste skit.
5. It's simple, really, Shawn Bradley and Danny Fortson didn't play!
6. Mike Bibby looking over his shoulder at Tony's Church league stats knowing his job could be in danger!
7. Najera, as it turns out, isn't all that. MmmHmmm.
8. Two Maloof's always beat a Cuban.
9. Bobby Jackson was hurt! (wait a minute, that one was going to be in the list if we LOST to the Mavs).
10. Because we really want a piece of the Lakers...too bad the Spurs will beat us to it!

---

RONNIE IN ELK GROVE SUBMITS
Top ten reason not to give up on the Kings:

1. Its a slump... everyone goes through one.The Kings haven't even played with their much herald "Super 7" yet
2. Bobby Jackson is due back any game now
3. Real Kings fans never give up!
4. Remember 1985, '86, '87, '88...., yeah, that's what I thought, puts everything in perspective
5. They perform much better as the "underdogs"
6. Shhhh...... Vlade's in hibernation. Don't worry he'll wake up in time for the playoffs
7. They are hungry. No one has more to prove than they do
8. There's still 10 more games.... 10 more games to go on a win streak heading into the playoffs.
9. Its the regular season, and no matter what anyone says, this team will only be judged on what they do in the playoffs!

---

Top 10 reasons why News10 should have aired the Kings game instead of election coverage

1. No one cares about election coverage, that is, until the votes have been counted THE NEXT DAY!
2. A bad night for Gerald Wallace is better than a good night at the polls
3. Every other station in the Sacramento market was doing election coverage already
4. Even Slamson is more entertaining than 10% of all reported precincts
5. C'mon, it's the Kings for crying out loud!
6. News10 is the local home of the Kings (right?)
7. We've already seen Dale Schornack drink beer on air before
8. Brad Miller hanging from the rim is far better than 1,000,000 hanging chads
9. Supporting the Kings is hugely more satisfying than supporting any politician
10. Oh yeah, did we mention, Chris Webber returns!

---

Top 10 things that make us believe.

1. Brad Miller and his newfound Triple Double abilities
2. Darius Songaila, you mean he's only a rookie?
3. The amazing coaching of Rick Adelman
4. The Princeton Offense a la Pete Carril
5. Webber will be back soon
6. Bobby Jackson, still the most tenacious 6th man
7. Peja is playing out of his mind
8. T-Mass and Peels sharing clean-up duties
9. Mike Bibby looks like he never had surgery
10. It's been a season of change, and change is good!

---

Top 10 ways to view Kings games these days

1. Not on Fox Sports Net
2. NBA Leagues Pass
3. Not on ESPN
4. Buy a ticket and go to a game!
5. Not on Channel 31
6. Road trip to another arena if ARCO is sold out
7. Not on KHTK (um, audio only)
8. Watch one of the few games that is actually scheduled
9. Not on the Kings Television Network
10. Keep your eyes glued to News10 in the hopes that they will pick up a game or two

---

RONNIE, IN ELK GROVE Submits
The Top 10 games from last season to pop in your VCR

1. Christmas Day against the Lakers
2. Chris Webber's game winning three against Boston
3. Bobby Jackson's first game back from injury
4. The Kings near perfect game against the Spurs
5. The Kings January blow out of the Mavs
6. Keon's second game winning shot against the Mavs
7. "So long Stockton"-Playoff Game 5 against the Jazz
8. Playoff Game 1 against the Mavs
9. 3's from both Vlade and Webb, plus a nifty no-look behind the back cross court pass from Webber--Final regular season game between the Kings and Blazers
10. "His Air-ness's" last game in Arco.

---

Top Ten things that make the KingsSuperFans more than ready for the upcoming NBA season.

1. New players on the roster
2. Hearing about the Monarchs playoff run
3. Haven't had garlic fries in a while
4. Four words, The Off-Season Blows!
5. There is absolutely nothing going on
6. No Kings promotions at any local stores
7. No Kings appearances to look forward to
8. C-Webb's bionic knee
9. Bibby lighting up other national teams
10. We want to know how Brad Miller looks as a bobblehead

---

RONNIE, IN ELK GROVE Submits
Top 10 (active) ex-Kings

1. Jon Barry
2. Jason Williams
3. Scott Pollard
4. Hedo Turkuglou
5. Tony Delk
6. Chucky Brown
7. Eddie Jordan (hey coaches are part of the team too)
8. Slamson version 2. (ditto for mascots)
9. Scoreless....err Corliss Williamson
10. Byron Scott

SacKid from Temecula wants these names on that list:
"Tyus Edney! (What? He's still playing in Europe) and Brian Grant"

---

RONNIE, IN ELK GROVE Submits
Top 10 "Wouldn't it be cool ifs..."

1. The Kings won a championship?
2. After winning a championship, the Kings become a dynasty?
3. Everyone could just stay healthy for one entire year?
4. The Kings signed Jon Barry-just for fun?
5. A Monarch and a Kings player hooked up and then we could have a "Royal Wedding ?"
6. Webber was a great shot blocker and we could have phrases like "don't fall into the WEBB ?"
7. We renamed ARCO Arena the "Royal Palace"
8. To show their unity the entire team shaved their heads?
9. "Rupe the hoop" was barred from ever attending a Kings game for the rest of his natural life?
10. KSF.COM became the official home of the Kings?

---

RONNIE IN ELK GROVE SUBMITS:
The top ten clichés or sayings to help Kings fans get through the summer and keep faith in next year:

1. Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened
2. Practice makes perfect
3. Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new.
4. The beauty is not in achieving, but in falling and knowing you'll stand back up
5. Success is a journey, not a destination
6. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again
7. Good things come to those who wait.
8. These things take time
9. What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger
10. The third time is the charm (02-championship run #1, 03 #2, 04 #3)

KSF forum dweller Queenofthekings sends in these clichés:

• "Our greatest glory isn't in never falling, but in rising every time"
• "Nothing worth having is easy"
• "Don't give up on what keeps you up"

SacKid finds SNL particularly helpful:

Taken from SNL Weekend update: "This just in, what doesn't kill you acctually messes you up really bad, for a long long time"

---

Top Ten ways the KingsSuperFans keep their sanity during the summer

1. Not watch baseball
2. Go to ARCO... sit in the parking lot for three hours, then go home
3. Hit Tunel 21 because ARCO won't let you in
4. ROAD TRIP! Las Vegas, NV: Palms Casino
5. Catch up with the rest of the family
6. Speculate about what Geoff Petrie is doing right now
7. Find good deals on last season's Kings gear
8. Finally start work on that "Kings-mobile" you've been telling your friends about
9. Hibernate until October
10. Talk with other Kings fans in the KSF Forums

---

Top Ten things overlooked about the Kings

1. The amount of heart, desire and determination they possess
2. That they are a tough as nails
3. They can actually play defense
4. Hedo, Hedo, Hedo!
5. Just how much the ARCO crowd can change a game
6. Vlade can still play at a high level
7. They CAN win without Chris Webber
8. Resiliency
9. A new person a night can be in double figures
10. There is no "I" in team

---

Brought to you by Mind Numbing Boredom, it's the Top Ten things to do to kill time between playoff games:

1. European Vacation (no, not with Chevy Chase)
2. Think about watching playoff games
3. Talk to others who are thinking about watching playoff games
4. Locate your "Officials" voodoo dolls
5. Play a little basketball of your own
6. Add on that extra room to your house finally
7. Work on your "game announcer voice"
8. Continually check and re-check Ticketmaster.com for possible "magical" seats for games to be played at ARCO
9. Play some one-on-one with your Keon Clark Bobblehead
10. Real Life... (bummer, eh?)

Nicole writes in to say: "When there are no Kings playoff games on, you can watch Laker playoff games and root for them to lose."
Good point Nicole, how could we have missed that? - Ed

---

Samurai Girl 31 Submits:
Top 10 Least Popular NBA Records To Hold

1. Whiniest Team Who Constantly Accuses Other Teams Of Whining - duh. LA Lakers by a landslide.
2. Most times a player has lost a shoe in a game - 213, Chris Webber
3. Most Ritalin Consumed During A Season - Mark Madsen.
4. Most Money Spent At Hairdresser In A Single Season - $1,800. tie: Scot Pollard and Moochie Norris.
5. Coach With Most Veins Visibly Popping Out Of His Forehead - Don Nelson.
6. Most Points Scored Illegally - 5,243, Shaquille O'Neal. (Includes points scored on free-throw violations, 3-second violations, reaching in, charging, elbowing, body checks....)
7. Most Fouls Called On A Single Player Per Game - 6.85, Scot Pollard. (How this is mathematically possible I don't know, it just is.)
8. Most Middle Fingers Extended In A Single Game - 47, Ron Artest.
9. Most Coaches Ejected Per 48 Minutes - 23, currently held by Steve Javie, who regularly ejects not only teams' entire coaching staffs, but also any elementary school or high school coaches in the stands.
10. Most Twinkies Consumed In A Single Game - 4,217, currently tied: Shawn Kemp and Shaquille O'Neal.

---

Top 10 Reason why the Kings can win the NBA Championship

1. They can play D... well, when they want
2. Half the squad was injured for over half the season and they still lead the Pacific
3. Two words, Bobby Jackson, most improved player and Sixth Man of the Year candidate
4. Two more words, Scot Pollard, no more broken stuff
5. We <cough!> heard that Vlade stopped smoking
6. Doug Christie, theif (he should be locked up)
7. CWebb and Vlade, still the best passing big men in the league
8. The harder the shot, the easier they fall for Peja
9. Keon Clark, always in the right place at the right time
10. Oh yeah, did we mention Bobby Jackson?!

SacKid, writes in to say:
"Because Tom Tolbert says they can, and Bill Walton says they can't!"

An anonymous reader writes in his own Top Ten reasons the Kings can take it all this year:
"10) Because we said so!
      =)
9) The Maloofs have certainly "paid" for it!
      Way over the cap and they wont even make any money!
8) Kings fans have certainly "paid" for it!
      Way over our spending budgets (tickets, fan gear)
7) They were "cheated" last year (questionable)!
      We all know what happened or didn't happen last year-lets just leave it at that!
6) Its been 52 yrs, 5 cities and 2 names since the last (and only) championship!
      The Rochester Royals championship #1 in 1951
5) Webber, Bibby, Bobby, Peja, Christie, Vlade....(need I go on?) !
      Their work speaks for themselves
4) Petrie's work needs to payoff
      The guy is a genius!!
3) 18 years of unconditional dedication from Sacramentens
      We were selling out Arco Arena even when the Kings "sucked"!
2) They have paid their "dues"
      Injuries, heartbreak, this title is 52 years in the making!

And the number one reason why the Kings should win the championship (this year preferably) is.....
1) The name just fits!
      The Kings-Kings of the NBA!! I love the ring to that!!"

---

Top Ten players that should be Booed (instead of JB).

---

Top ten ways to get T'd up by Steve Javie